Debunking Frank Kobola's Cosmopolitan Article - 12 Things a Guys Thinks When You Sit on His Face

I read a Cosmopolitan article, written by Frank Kobala, that lists our supposed thoughts when we get facesat. Those weren't my thoughts. 

Facesitting has almost been a part of my entire sex life. What Frank Kobola says in his article is not what comes to my mind when a woman is sitting on my face. In fact, there's an entire community of folks like me that don't think those thoughts listed in Frank Kobola's Cosmopolitan article, 12 Things a Guy Thinks When You Sit on His Face. 

I'm going to take each of his points, and respond with what we facesit fetishists really think...

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Oh you want me to go down on you.... so why are you keeping me on my back? This isn't making sense.

For many of us, this makes perfect sense. I already know that I'm going to be eating her out this way. If we're in this position, it's usually because I've asked to be in this position. Every time I see a hot woman, that fits the profile of the type of woman I want sitting on my face, I fantasize her sitting flat on top of my face... facing my feet... while she sits with her full weight and I eat her pussy out. 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: I see what's going on here. This took me a second. We're going to shake things up, aren't we? And by "shake things up" I mean you're going to sit on my face.

I see that long before the sex event. In fact, I've planned it. 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: This is so porny! There is nothing wrong with that. It's actually preferable.

What I actually think: I feel like I'm in heaven! 

One of the most beautiful sights you can see is the woman's ass right before she sits flat on top of your face. 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: I can't breathe. I need a signal for you to give me some air that isn't me throwing you off me in a panic.

As long as the woman isn't actively smothering you for breath play, there's always a way to breathe while giving oral this way. If you're doing this "50 Shades of Grey" style, there's always a "safe signal." 

I've done the later in BDSM, all I had to do was a "light signal" with my face. She always partially lifted her butt up just enough for me to catch my breath... then she slowly lowered her butt back down... and settled back into the heavy full weight facesit. 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: My eye is basically in her butt. Is this... is this how all adults get pink eye?

If my eyes aren't in her butt, with her butt cheeks pinning my eyelids shut, she isn't sitting on my face properly. 

There are few exceptions to this, like if she's sitting on my mouth and I'm looking at her back, or if she has a small butt. Otherwise, her ass cheeks should be pressing down on my eyelids in a way that makes it "impossible" for me to open my eyes. 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: I have no choice but to make her orgasm.

That's how I want to make women orgasm, and I could do it faster this way. I could also do it the traditional way and make her involuntarily shake aggressively. The facesit is one way to warm her up for this.

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: She will not release me from her grip until then.

I don't want her to "release me from her grip," but unfortunately, this always happens as she orgasms or worse, when she tries to "reward" me by collapsing her upper body forward and putting us in a 69 position. 

She may think that she's rewarding me. I actually see that as a way to punish me for doing a good job, not reward me. I usually stop licking when she does this, then I nudge her back into the facesitting position. 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: How can I do hand stuff? Can I wedge my hand over my face?

First, if you're doing this right, you don't need your hands to do anything, unless your tongue can't reach her clitoris. Your arms and hands should be at your side, so that when she does sit, you could use your hands to assist her sit better... and to help pleasure her. 

I don't want anything between her butt and my face, as it'd ruin the fun. 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: I guess I can just use my nose instead. It's already in there.

The nose is trapped under her butt. The mouth has access to the entire area that needs oral service... most of the time. If not, the hands could be brought into action to help the mouth.  

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Please don't crush my head. There is so much pressure.

I've found that if I get as much of my nose inside her anal ring as possible, and as much of my face inside her ass crack as possible, it doesn't matter how hard she sits. Her ass crack is the softest part of her ass. She should have enough butt muscle and fat to cushion the rest of my face.

Now, there is a point where she sits "too hard," but it's rare. Your mileage may vary. You could give nonverbal signals to the woman so that she could pick up the excess, and leave you with the facesitting pressure that you want. 

If she's not sitting hard enough to leave reddish pressure marks on my face, she's not sitting properly. 

I've had a woman my height and weight sit on my face, plus push down from above. I still was comfortable. The fattest woman to sit on my face ended up giving me one of the most comfortable facesit experiences that I had. Talk about soft and cushiony "up the ying yang". 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Can you reach my penis from there? I'm just saying, if you want to, you totally can.

Most facesitting women do that without being told, that's if you're eating them out properly. If she's my height or taller, yes, she could easily reach my penis. If she's shorter, and she could lean forward without taking too much weight off my face, she could still reach my penis.  

If she can't do it without breaking a proper facesit, I don't want her to reach for my penis. 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Do you want to reverse cowgirl this? Is a suggestion I would make if I could actually talk.

If a woman wants to "ride the north face," I give an Army hand-and-arm signal similar to "rally." She easily interprets this as "turn around and ride the south face." Once she turns around, I use my arms to pull her ass onto my face, then I pull her ass down harder once her ass is on my face.  

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Are you coming or is my world ending? I can't even see anymore. It's just pitch black and vibrations, like an earthquake in a cave.

I don't worry if she has arrived at coming yet, because I know she's getting there. These women could only take so much orgasms in that position that the facesit ends shortly after that. 

As far as "not seeing" anymore... if you could see her butt cheeks, she's not sitting properly. 

If it's pitch black and you feel vibrations/earthquakes, both of you are doing something right.

A Real Facesit has to Pass the Barstool Test

Did you sit on someone's face? Are you thinking about doing it? If you did facesit someone, did you really do a "face sit"?

The best way to answer this question is to use the "Barstool Test." Here's how the facesitting barstool test works.

Look back at the actual facesitting that you did. If you're the facesitting woman, did you sit on the other person's face the exact same way you'd sit on a barstool at a bar, after a long day of being on your feet?

If you answered "No," then you didn't really sit on his/her face. If you answered "Yes," then chances are you performed a real "facesit."

Now, many would argue that what they thought was a "facesit" is actually a proper "facesit." The question that you have to answer then is this, "Is that how you would sit on a barstool?" Or, "Is that how you would've sat on a chair after your mom told you to sit properly?"

There are two ways to find out if you did subject your face chair to a real "facesit." One is through smell test, the other is through an impression on the face skin.

If you were to sniff the face that you just sat on, and smell your "bum" aroma on his or her face, there's a good chance that you did a proper "facesit." But, let's say you did pretty good at washing yourself in that area.

There's another way to find out if you subjected your face chair to a real facesit.

The moment you lift your butt off his/her face, look back and quickly look at that face. Do you see reddish pressure marks on the sittee's face? Do you see any markings, colorings, or face skin indentions where your butt was just sitting?

If so, there's a good chance that you did a proper "facesit."

During a reverse facesit, if the person that you're facesitting isn't able to breathe through his/her nose, only through his/her mouth; there's a good chance that you're doing a proper facesit. If the person that you're reverse facesitting isn't able to open his/her eyes, because your butt cheeks are pressing down hard on his/her eyelids, there's a good chance that you're doing a proper facesit.

During a frontal facesit, if the person that you're facesitting isn't able to breathe through his/her mouth, only through his/her nose if you let him/her; there's a good chance that you're doing a proper facesit. If the person that you're frontal facesitting is easily performing anilingus on you, because your butt hole is "deep" inside his/her mouth, there's a good chance that you're doing a proper facesit.

Whether you're frontal or reverse facesitting your face chair; if the person you're facesitting is performing anilingus from under you; and that person is unable to breathe through his/her mouth, then you're doing a proper facesit, or mouth-sit.

I found that the women that were able to do the proper/perfect facesit were the women with all or a combination of the following traits, not exclusive:

• Dominant.
• Knows what she wants during a sexual interaction.
• Has some form of animosity against men.
• Is turned on by male degradation.
• Doesn't care about the man's comfort or dignity during the facesit.
• Demonstrates no mercy or shame for the person whom she's facesitting.
• Interested in getting "hers" when it comes to sexual interaction/gratification before the man gets "his".
• Treat s the face that she's sitting on no different from anything else that she'd properly sit on.
• Has a butt crack that naturally spreads when she squats down to facesit.
• Manually spreads her butt crack, if it doesn't naturally spread, while she squats down to facesit.

This list isn't inclusive, and even the women that don't show signs of having the above traits can provide good facesits.

The common theme among these good facesits is that these women treat the face, that they sit on, no different from a barstool that they'd sit on, or anything else that they'd sit on if they were sitting properly.

If she facesits this way, the person that she's facesitting will enjoy the facesit. I've also noticed that the women that facesit this way generally tend to get the most enjoyment out of the facesit.

Toilet Paper or Wet Wipe, Which is Better? From a Facesitting Perspective

Toilet Paper or Wet Wipe?

I've seen a couple of articles, with associated comments, of people arguing the advantages of one or the other. For some people, using a regular toilet paper is the adult thing to do. For others, it's the idea of getting more ass cleaning done. After all, if you got some crap on your arm, would you use a toilet paper to wipe it off, or would you use a baby wipe? Or, for that matter, would you wash it?

Considering that I love to have women sit flat on top of my face with their bare bottoms... with their full weight... with their assholes smothering my nostrils... I have a good vantage point on this question.

There's no consistency among women that facesit me on how well they clean their butts.

I've had women facesit me right after they took a dump. Some of them wiped between taking care of business and facesitting me, one or two didn't.

Some of them wiped their butts like they normally would, went about their business, then facesat me when it was time for me to live up to my username. Some of these women used toilet paper, others used wet wipes. One or two women took a dump, didn't wipe, went about their business, then facesat me when it was time for me to live up to my username.

Contrary to what one may think, once a woman sits on my face, I can't smell anything... not even her asshole as it smothers my nostrils. The feel of her ass on my face overrides the recent memory of her ass smell. The sensation of her ass on my face dominates until she lifts her butt up... this is when the smell kicks in.

I love to have hot/beautiful women facesit me, their ass smell never bothers me. If anything, it's an erotic part of the experience. After she removes her butt from my face, I wear her ass perfume on my face with honor and pride.

One woman put real perfume on her ass right before she facesat me.

Many women sat on my face right after taking a shower. Some of them "left it at that" then sat on my face fresh out of the shower. Others took a shower prior to meeting me, went about their business, then facesat me when it was time to make me live up to my username. Others made a pit stop to the bathroom... more than likely to apply some wet wipes to their asses... before facesitting me.

So, which ass cleaning method provided the cleanest smelling and looking butt? The answer is simple... the women that showered, then latter applied the wet wipes.

I know firsthand, from when women sit on my face, that a person isn't going to get rid of all the butt smell. Even after a shower, there's going to be a residue smell. The ass may smell clean, without smell, after a post shower wet wipe application... but I've still had the smell of her ass in my nostrils a day after she sat on my face.

What's the worst smelling ass? Remember the woman that put perfume on her ass to masque the smell? That was the worst smelling ass I've smelt. But once she was sitting on my face with her full weight, I didn't smell anything until after she got up.

So ladies, if you're worried about how you smell down there, remember this... that's part of this fetish's erotic sensation. Going from your perfume/make up smell fragrance, to your ass smell, to your ass and full weight on my face is extremely erotic.

Now, many of these articles focus on the toilet paper or the wet wipe. Rare is the mention of the best way to clean one's ass.

Here's one method to use, if you're in your home.

Stage one, use the toilet paper to collect the bulk of your feces residue. Fold the toilet paper into two square rectangle length, and overlap to the strength that you want. Place the whole rectangle on your hand, then place it on your ass crack so that you could "trap" the feces residue. Take your time collecting your feces residue... let the toilet paper take it in. Bring the toilet paper into a semi ball, trapping the feces residue, then release the used toilet paper into the toilet bowl.

Break out the wet wipe and wipe like you normally would. Depending on your toilet and the type of plumbing that you have, you could either release the wet wipe into the toilet, or put it in a waste basket. If you don't have wet wipes, use wet toilet paper as a substitute.

Now, here's a step that most people don't use... but it's a step that'll keep your ass cleaner than most people's asses.

This step involves bathing your ass while it's on the toilet bowl. This can be done even without a bidet. All you need is a container... like a used up whip cream container, soap, and ready access to a faucet.

First, you lean forward to bring your ass crack up. Use one hand to pour the water through your ass crack, and the other hand to guide the water onto your ass crack. Second, you pour liquid soap, or apply regular soap, to the hand you're going to use to lather your butt. When you get enough of a lather, thoroughly lather your butt. Once you're done, repeat step one, this time to post rinse. The forth step involves using a dry wash rag to dry your bottom.

The third step is a modified version of how they clean their asses in the Far East and in southwest Asia. Asians generally have a better concept of cleaning their ass after taking care of business than their North American counterparts. However, many haven't caught up on the idea that you're supposed to include soap lathering in the process.

Why not use a rag to do the lathering and washing? One reason is that your own skin generally will be easier on your butt crack. Another is that women that do this get more of the smell off than those that use a wash rag. Also, you're not going to be able to hand rinse all the mess from the rag. Just think of the idea of using the same piece of toilet paper each time you use the bathroom.

If you're one of the people who have trained your body to take care of business around the same time in the morning... and have a habit of taking a shower right afterwards... you could skip step three and go straight to the shower.

If there's no shower planned after the bathroom visit, use all three steps. As always, wash your hands afterwards. When you wash your hands, wash them with a rinse, real lather, and post rinse cycle... using techniques that doctors show their patients. This technique involves lathering each finger during the lathering phase.

Rinse, turn the water off, thoroughly lather, turn the water back on and post rinse.

Back to the facesitting...

For me, it doesn't matter what a woman does to "clean up" after taking a dump... before she sits on my face. I make sure that my face is clean so that she has a clean face to sit on... regardless of how she cleans her ass or whether she cleans it or not.  The smell is part of the fun, and is a non-issue when it comes to the facesitting itself.

I have a different mindset when it comes to eating a woman's ass out though. If she expects me to ask her for a chance to toss her salad, she's got to have a clean ass. If she doesn't have a clean ass, and she wants her ass eaten, she'd have to "force" her asshole into my mouth. 

Does Facesitting Hurt?

Does facesitting hurt? That depends on how, and how long, a woman sits on a man's face. The facesitter and facesittee have different tolerances to this.

I've had anywhere from thin women to BBW women sit on my face. The vast majority of these facesittings were comfortable, no matter how heavy the woman was.

There are some tricks you could use to minimize, or eliminate, the pain that'd come with having a woman sit on your face.

One of the first things you want to do is to have her butthole and/or her anal ring smother your nostrils. Before she sits on your face, spread her butt cheeks apart. Since they're real soft, you want more of that part of her butt covering your face.

I've had a woman that weighed more than 200 pounds sit on my face this way. My face was snug and comfortable, and it didn't matter how much weight she applied to the sit, I felt comfortable. Her having extra padding in her butt helped out a lot, as that acted as a cushion.

The only worry I have, with women in this range, is in the breathing department. You could still breathe through your mouth if you lift her pussy up to breath. Many women are understanding in this area, and will help you catch your breath.

I had one woman, my height, sit on my face in a way that her tailbone put pressure on the part of my nose between my eyes. This pressure/pain disappeared when I slid her butthole into my mouth.

Slim/light women may come across as less painful sitters, but with less padding in their butts, their tailbone and butt bones are able to exert more pressure. Their weighing less compensated for this pressure, so it was still bearable.

The longer you have a woman sit on your face, the more her facesitting pressure may affect your eyes. You may start to "see" concentric colors radiate out from a certain point. You could relieve yourself of this issue by having her slide her butthole into your mouth.

So, whether facesitting hurts or not depends on whether or not the facesitting woman is applying a perfect facesitting fit or not. It also depends on her structure and on your tolerance level.

The vast majority of the facesitting that women have subjected me to has been erotic and comfortable. Women that have sat on my face perfectly managed to get me to orgasm just with the mere act of the facesitting... with no additional manipulating involved.

Facesitting is the Beautiful, Sexy, Confident, and Dominant Woman's Sport

A few years ago, I wrote an article for ehow on how to get facesat. The article stayed on that site, along with other rated "X" articles. It didn't stay up there for long before they took the article down. When they gave me the reason for taking it down, I smacked them with their own hypocrisy... pointing out the other rated "X" articles that were still up on their site.

They took those other articles down. That didn't stop me from hammering them every time they slipped and allowed a triple X article back on that site.

Years later, I stumbled on the article that I submitted. Turned out that someone that worked for that site passed it to someone they knew on another website, "Slog, the stranger dot com." It was under the title, "Many women refuse to sit on faces because they're conscious of what a butt smells like." Lindy West posted it on that site.

I have a detailed, expanded, version of that article on this blog. I've also written a variant of that article, and posted it on Mistress Destiny's Femdom Forums.

Those who know me from Mistress Destiny's Femdom Forums know that I don't miss out on an opportunity to defend what I say. I've collected a series of negative responses to my article. Time to destroy these retards' arguments a la MDFF style:

[quote]Uh, unless she scrubbed for twenty minutes with five different types of soap, you don't have to tell her how great it smells. Because it doesn't smell great. It smells atrocious.
--god i hate butt  October 1, 2008 4:32 PM [/quote]

I wouldn't be surprised that most of your academic problems came from your piss poor reading comprehension abilities. What I find atrocious is that they let someone, that's unable to use his/her brain, post on "Slog dot the stranger dot com," thus "gracing" the reader with his/her stupidity.

The point isn't to argue with her as to whether she smells great down there or not. The point is to counter her worries that she "smells" down there. Many women refuse to go through with a complete facesit, as they're conscious of how they smell down there. They'll either refuse to go through with it, denying the facesit fan real fun, or they'll make some adjustments.

For example, I've had situations where women would try to "hover" their butt to "spare" me what they think is an issue. This could be the smell, it could also be the fear that they'd "crush" me with their weight.

Letting her know that the smell is "part of the fun," helps alleviate her worrying about how the facesit enthusiast would react, or think, if she were to go ahead despite her worries.

[quote]A girl friend of mine in college had a boyfriend who, as a special treat during a bout of cunnilingus, ran his tongue back to her butt.
She was so upset that anyone would ever think to do such a thing to anyone that she cried. Like, right then.
--David Schmader  October 1, 2008 4:39 PM[/quote]

Not on topic you numbnuts. The article she posted had something to do with facesitting, with cunnilingus involved, not annalingus. Reading a post, before you comment on it, would spare you from coming across as an idiot that wants attention.

The vast majority of the women... that I've eaten out... were too busy going wild to care that I was nudging them into a full facesitting position. The few that resisted the full facesit were still in a position where part, or all, of my nose was inside their arse crack, even if there was no contact in that area. Future attempts with these women lead to a full facesit.

You see, that's key. You have to be eating her out right. Most men think that they're eating a woman out right, when they aren't. Most women complain that very few men know how to perform cunnilingus. That's a legitimate complaint. So if the guy that you're talking about was doing it properly... she wouldn't have been cognizant of the fact that he slipped his tongue there. She would've been too busy going wild over the sensation he would've been giving her had he ate her out good.

[quote]i made a girl cry when i gave her the 1st orgasm of her life. and it wasn't tears of joy & gratitude, it was because she thought it was dirty & she was now a slut.
and i never even touched her ass with my tongue.
--max solomon  October 1, 2008 4:58 PM[/quote]

Another off topic post. I'll be lenient here though, as this appears to be a reply to the knucklehead that went off topic.

None of the women, that I introduced into facesitting, felt "dirty" or "sluttish" after the experience. The majority of them became facesitting "monsters" and looked forward to parking their butts on my face for more.

[quote] Eww. Butt.
-- TVDinner  October 1, 2008 6:11 PM[/quote]

Ewww, a person who posts as if a retarded ghost possesses him/her.

[quote]Let's work the problem here. Is this not what scented products were made for? Peach, aloe, a carefully aimed squirt of Chanel No. 5? Surely a resolution can be reached! I mean, for the greater good and all.
--Irena  October 1, 2008 7:57 PM[/quote]

One woman tried that, that's the worst thing that they could do. Using one of those products actually worsens the smell.

The best thing that a woman could do is to come fresh out of the shower, or to clean it with soap and water... pre-rinse, lather, post rinse. Most women, when they know that they're going to sit on my face, are pretty good at cleaning up. Their butt has no bad smell.

[quote]I don't know if vacuum-sealed-mash-the-anus-onto-my-nose-squashing is necessary, but having the lady straddle the face is the BEST angle for the cunnilingus. No weird lower-jaw jutting required! Hours of sloppy goodness.
--Yogi  October 1, 2008 7:30 PM[/quote]

It's very necessary. This way, one movement of your tongue simultaneously takes care of her clitoris and surrounding area in one stroke. Keep in mind that you're doing this in a repeated pattern. Women have a lot of sensation in their anal ring area. Merely having your nose there, while driving her wild with cunnilingus, amplifies the pleasure she gets from cunnilingus.

The way that I explained it also puts you in a situation to where everything that you do adds to her pleasure... this includes you catching your breath. I've had no "pressure on the jaw" issues while eating them out this way.

I've also done it as you described, but the woman didn't get as much pleasure as she did in a full weight facesit. Your way was also less comfortable for me.

Women That Hate Facesitting are Generally Ugly, and Normally Don't get Facesit Requests

 [quote][quote]
This is one of the worst guides i've read regarding oral sex. And let's not even get started on the ass part. I wish it was a joke.
Lauren October 1, 2008 8:04 PM[/quote]

Ha!
Coming from a female who has a male partner who's tried getting me to do this often, I FULLY disagree with with #13! This a great little guide.
It reminds me of something that should be in Box Lunch by Diana Cage (which you guys need to read and do an article on if you haven't already.)
I even just emailed it to my honey with a little nudge and wink. Hopefully we'll be getting some good salad tossin in here soon....
morgi  October 1, 2008 8:21 PM[/quote]

It's blatantly obvious that Lauren hasn't received good quality orgasm. I wouldn't be surprised if Lauren has a hard time finding a guy that pleases her the way most women wish to be pleased, but don't get pleased that way.

Morgi is representative of many of the women that I've introduced into facesitting. Most women would say, "no" or refuse, if you describe the kind of facesit that you're looking for. Get these women in a 69 position, with her on top, and eat her out in a way that drives her up the wall. She wouldn't be phased by your pushing her into a sitting position. She'll be too wrapped up on the pleasure that you're giving her to even care... or notice.

Once they realize that the fullweight facesitting improves the cunnilingus quality, they'd relax and literally enjoy the ride.

If Lauran continues with that philosophy, she'll go into old age not knowing what she's missing.

[quote]@9: I guess I must be crazy, then, since I tried it three times, and I hated it. I did not get anything out of it whatsoever, except feeling slightly damp in an uncomfortable way.
yourleastfavorite  October 1, 2008 9:28 PM [/quote]

Yes, you're "crazy," because you're willing to give up on an experience based on someone's piss poor cunnilingus skill. The reality is that if the other person ate you out the right way, and you were going wild, you wouldn't care if someone nudged you into a fully seated position. You'd be mainly focused on the fact that someone is eating you out real good.

The problem wasn't because of the facesit, but because of the person you chose to have sex with.

[quote]I regularly peg and give rimjobs, since my boyfriend is into that, but I can't stop being generally (but only privately, so he doesn't feel guilty) grossed-out by the concept of ass - not because I think it's perverted, just because...well, seriously, we shit from there. "Eat shit" is an insult for a reason. I guess love means eating ass while fantasizing about your toothbrush waiting for you down the hall.
yourleastfavorite  October 1, 2008 9:28 PM[/quote]

This is an example of what I'm talking about. Is this the same guy that you tried to "face sit"? If so, he comes across as someone that was more focused on what he could get from you, rather than what he could do for you.

You fantasized about that toothbrush down the hall while you were rimming him. He probably was fantasizing about something else while you were "facesitting" him. The guide that I posted, that you commented on, required the guy to know what he was doing in the cunnilingus department.

My "guide" would've put your boyfriend in a position to where all he'd have to do is wash his face afterwards. If the toothbrush was your solution for the aftermath, then you obviously don't pay attention to the fact behind why flossing and mouthwash must also be done. There's something else that you'd have to do, to effectively deal with the aftermath. I'll leave you with trying to figure that out.

You tried to fend off the "crazy" label, right before admitting that you ate a guy's ass without first requiring quality oral service from him. My guide required the guy to give quality oral service first prior to attempting to nudge the female into the facesitting position.

It appears that you lost in that situation. Blame your judgment and guy choice, not the facesitting.

[quote]@9, I dearly wish I could sever the strings that hold my eyeballs in place so that I could roll them alllllll the way around for you. It's nice to know that if I don't like sitting on a dude's face, it must be because I'm crazy or frigid, and not because, you know, that particular angle doesn't do it for me.
I thank all the gods that I don't actually believe in that I don't have to fuck you, because lord almighty you sound tedious as hell.
haunted leg  October 1, 2008 10:17 PM[/quote]

If the guy doesn't do a good job eating you out, yes, that particular angle won't do it for you. However, if you're sitting just right, and the guy you're facesitting is doing cunnilingus properly, you wouldn't be complaining about how that particular angle "doesn't" do it for you.

One of the main reasons to why that particular angle doesn't do it for many people, is that they don't facesit properly. When many women facesit, they have a tendency to use their upper legs to support their body weight. This puts pressure on their knees and ankles/feet area. Without being fully relaxed, you're not going to enjoy the attention that you ultimately get.

However, a proper facesit would help alleviate that issue.

This starts with you dropping a squat (popping/copping a squat) on top of the face, then transitioning into a fullweight face sit from there. You take advantage of your body design when you do that. With the face sittee's face supporting most or all of your weight, you remove the pressure from your knees and ankles/feet. If knee pain is an issue, you could always rest your legs on top of the face sittee's legs.

If your boyfriend does his part properly, during 69, you'd be going wild with pleasure. You wouldn't care if he maneuvered you into a facesitting position... if you weren't there yet.

You could be frigid, selfish, ugly, or not doing it right. Your "doesn't do it for me" reply is just an excuse to cover for that. This shows that like your boyfriend, who didn't care about doing a proper job on you... you don't care about going out of your way to please a man. The person that you're addressing is lucky that you wouldn't have sex with him.

Ladies, Swiftly Conquer Me With a Perfect Facesit!

Ladies, what's the best way to sit on my face? By sitting on it the way you'd sit on anything else. I don't consider the "mustache ride," or the traditional sex definition of "face sit" as "facesitting."

When you sit on my face, don't hold anything back. Completely smother my face with your butt the way you'd smother a bar stool with your butt while having a drink at the bar. Here's how this could play out.

I lay on my back, looking up. You stand on the bed, then walk in my direction until you're over me. Your feet are on either side of me. I'm looking up at you. You turn around to face my feet, then drop your butt as if you were dropping a squat out in the woods.

Except, the only thing that you're relieving yourself of is your weight... transferred from you to my face as you take a seat.

Your butt gets closer to my face. My hands meet your butt right when you spread your butt cheeks. You complete your descent until your butthole smothers my nostrils, and your weight pushes the rest of your butt down hard on my face. You continue to release your weight on my face until you've put as much of your weight, as resting physics would allow you... as if you've just taken a seat on an imamate object.

You either remain in the sit-squat, or you swing your legs around and rest them on top of my legs. You chose whichever one is more comfortable for you.

Don't worry about how you smell down there.

I can't smell anything while you're sitting flat on top of my face. In order for anybody to be able to smell anything, there has to be air movement. With your butthole smothering my nostrils, there's no air movement. I can't smell anything.

In fact, I've never had to experience a woman's smell while she was sitting flat on top of my face with her full weight. All I had was feeling via my face, hearing, and breathing on her pussy. And get this. While your butt is "suffocating" my face, I can't taste anything. This means that I don't experience your smell, or taste, until you lift your butt from my face.

So should you be ashamed, or embarrassed, of how you smell down there while smothering my face with your butt? Hell no, that's part of the fun, that's part of what makes this an erotic experience... smelling your awesome ass scent seconds before it's lights out... then no smell...

You won't crush me this way either.

Trust me, you won't crush me if you sit on my face the way I describe it in this post. Your ass crack is the softest part of your butt. The more of your ass crack that you have smothering my face, the more I'm cushioned from your weight. Your butt has enough "meat" to where my face will be comfortable, no matter how much weight you put on me.

If you're overweight, the extra meat in your butt compensates, and gives my face an extra comfortable feeling.

Don't believe me?

I had a pro domina, a woman that was my height and who weighed 200 pounds, sit flat on top of my face with her full weight. She didn't stop with her own weight. She anchored her arms on the headboard, and pushed herself down on me. This resulted on her exerting her weight, plus the force of her push, on my face via her butt. This caused my head to sink deep into the pillows.

Had you watched the session, you wouldn't have seen any part of my face. You wouldn't have seen much of my head between her butt and the pillow. During parts of the session, you wouldn't have seen any part of my head.

Her doing this didn't phase me at all... in fact, the harder a woman sits on my face, the more erotic the experience.

Remember, sit on my face without regards to my comfort or dignity. Sit on my face like you want to humiliate me for all the wrong that the male gender has done to you. Your ass should be "eating" my face by the time you "settle down" on it. Ideally, parts of my face should be "reddish/pinkish" by the time you remove your butt from my face.

The better the quality of the facesit... the better the quality of my performing cunnilingus on you... the better the quality of the orgasm you give me if you give me a handjob while you're sitting on my face.

Here's a secret. Your sitting on my face, the way I like it, turns a switch on inside me that makes me instinctively eat you out... in a way that'll drive you up the wall.

If you sit on my face just the way I like it, like what I describe above, you'll end up becoming addictive.