Debunking Frank Kobola's Cosmopolitan Article - 12 Things a Guys Thinks When You Sit on His Face

I read a Cosmopolitan article, written by Frank Kobala, that lists our supposed thoughts when we get facesat. Those weren't my thoughts. 

Facesitting has almost been a part of my entire sex life. What Frank Kobola says in his article is not what comes to my mind when a woman is sitting on my face. In fact, there's an entire community of folks like me that don't think those thoughts listed in Frank Kobola's Cosmopolitan article, 12 Things a Guy Thinks When You Sit on His Face. 

I'm going to take each of his points, and respond with what we facesit fetishists really think...

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Oh you want me to go down on you.... so why are you keeping me on my back? This isn't making sense.

For many of us, this makes perfect sense. I already know that I'm going to be eating her out this way. If we're in this position, it's usually because I've asked to be in this position. Every time I see a hot woman, that fits the profile of the type of woman I want sitting on my face, I fantasize her sitting flat on top of my face... facing my feet... while she sits with her full weight and I eat her pussy out. 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: I see what's going on here. This took me a second. We're going to shake things up, aren't we? And by "shake things up" I mean you're going to sit on my face.

I see that long before the sex event. In fact, I've planned it. 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: This is so porny! There is nothing wrong with that. It's actually preferable.

What I actually think: I feel like I'm in heaven! 

One of the most beautiful sights you can see is the woman's ass right before she sits flat on top of your face. 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: I can't breathe. I need a signal for you to give me some air that isn't me throwing you off me in a panic.

As long as the woman isn't actively smothering you for breath play, there's always a way to breathe while giving oral this way. If you're doing this "50 Shades of Grey" style, there's always a "safe signal." 

I've done the later in BDSM, all I had to do was a "light signal" with my face. She always partially lifted her butt up just enough for me to catch my breath... then she slowly lowered her butt back down... and settled back into the heavy full weight facesit. 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: My eye is basically in her butt. Is this... is this how all adults get pink eye?

If my eyes aren't in her butt, with her butt cheeks pinning my eyelids shut, she isn't sitting on my face properly. 

There are few exceptions to this, like if she's sitting on my mouth and I'm looking at her back, or if she has a small butt. Otherwise, her ass cheeks should be pressing down on my eyelids in a way that makes it "impossible" for me to open my eyes. 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: I have no choice but to make her orgasm.

That's how I want to make women orgasm, and I could do it faster this way. I could also do it the traditional way and make her involuntarily shake aggressively. The facesit is one way to warm her up for this.

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: She will not release me from her grip until then.

I don't want her to "release me from her grip," but unfortunately, this always happens as she orgasms or worse, when she tries to "reward" me by collapsing her upper body forward and putting us in a 69 position. 

She may think that she's rewarding me. I actually see that as a way to punish me for doing a good job, not reward me. I usually stop licking when she does this, then I nudge her back into the facesitting position. 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: How can I do hand stuff? Can I wedge my hand over my face?

First, if you're doing this right, you don't need your hands to do anything, unless your tongue can't reach her clitoris. Your arms and hands should be at your side, so that when she does sit, you could use your hands to assist her sit better... and to help pleasure her. 

I don't want anything between her butt and my face, as it'd ruin the fun. 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: I guess I can just use my nose instead. It's already in there.

The nose is trapped under her butt. The mouth has access to the entire area that needs oral service... most of the time. If not, the hands could be brought into action to help the mouth.  

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Please don't crush my head. There is so much pressure.

I've found that if I get as much of my nose inside her anal ring as possible, and as much of my face inside her ass crack as possible, it doesn't matter how hard she sits. Her ass crack is the softest part of her ass. She should have enough butt muscle and fat to cushion the rest of my face.

Now, there is a point where she sits "too hard," but it's rare. Your mileage may vary. You could give nonverbal signals to the woman so that she could pick up the excess, and leave you with the facesitting pressure that you want. 

If she's not sitting hard enough to leave reddish pressure marks on my face, she's not sitting properly. 

I've had a woman my height and weight sit on my face, plus push down from above. I still was comfortable. The fattest woman to sit on my face ended up giving me one of the most comfortable facesit experiences that I had. Talk about soft and cushiony "up the ying yang". 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Can you reach my penis from there? I'm just saying, if you want to, you totally can.

Most facesitting women do that without being told, that's if you're eating them out properly. If she's my height or taller, yes, she could easily reach my penis. If she's shorter, and she could lean forward without taking too much weight off my face, she could still reach my penis.  

If she can't do it without breaking a proper facesit, I don't want her to reach for my penis. 

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Do you want to reverse cowgirl this? Is a suggestion I would make if I could actually talk.

If a woman wants to "ride the north face," I give an Army hand-and-arm signal similar to "rally." She easily interprets this as "turn around and ride the south face." Once she turns around, I use my arms to pull her ass onto my face, then I pull her ass down harder once her ass is on my face.  

Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Are you coming or is my world ending? I can't even see anymore. It's just pitch black and vibrations, like an earthquake in a cave.

I don't worry if she has arrived at coming yet, because I know she's getting there. These women could only take so much orgasms in that position that the facesit ends shortly after that. 

As far as "not seeing" anymore... if you could see her butt cheeks, she's not sitting properly. 

If it's pitch black and you feel vibrations/earthquakes, both of you are doing something right.

A Real Facesit has to Pass the Barstool Test

Did you sit on someone's face? Are you thinking about doing it? If you did facesit someone, did you really do a "face sit"?

The best way to answer this question is to use the "Barstool Test." Here's how the facesitting barstool test works.

Look back at the actual facesitting that you did. If you're the facesitting woman, did you sit on the other person's face the exact same way you'd sit on a barstool at a bar, after a long day of being on your feet?

If you answered "No," then you didn't really sit on his/her face. If you answered "Yes," then chances are you performed a real "facesit."

Now, many would argue that what they thought was a "facesit" is actually a proper "facesit." The question that you have to answer then is this, "Is that how you would sit on a barstool?" Or, "Is that how you would've sat on a chair after your mom told you to sit properly?"

There are two ways to find out if you did subject your face chair to a real "facesit." One is through smell test, the other is through an impression on the face skin.

If you were to sniff the face that you just sat on, and smell your "bum" aroma on his or her face, there's a good chance that you did a proper "facesit." But, let's say you did pretty good at washing yourself in that area.

There's another way to find out if you subjected your face chair to a real facesit.

The moment you lift your butt off his/her face, look back and quickly look at that face. Do you see reddish pressure marks on the sittee's face? Do you see any markings, colorings, or face skin indentions where your butt was just sitting?

If so, there's a good chance that you did a proper "facesit."

During a reverse facesit, if the person that you're facesitting isn't able to breathe through his/her nose, only through his/her mouth; there's a good chance that you're doing a proper facesit. If the person that you're reverse facesitting isn't able to open his/her eyes, because your butt cheeks are pressing down hard on his/her eyelids, there's a good chance that you're doing a proper facesit.

During a frontal facesit, if the person that you're facesitting isn't able to breathe through his/her mouth, only through his/her nose if you let him/her; there's a good chance that you're doing a proper facesit. If the person that you're frontal facesitting is easily performing anilingus on you, because your butt hole is "deep" inside his/her mouth, there's a good chance that you're doing a proper facesit.

Whether you're frontal or reverse facesitting your face chair; if the person you're facesitting is performing anilingus from under you; and that person is unable to breathe through his/her mouth, then you're doing a proper facesit, or mouth-sit.

I found that the women that were able to do the proper/perfect facesit were the women with all or a combination of the following traits, not exclusive:

• Dominant.
• Knows what she wants during a sexual interaction.
• Has some form of animosity against men.
• Is turned on by male degradation.
• Doesn't care about the man's comfort or dignity during the facesit.
• Demonstrates no mercy or shame for the person whom she's facesitting.
• Interested in getting "hers" when it comes to sexual interaction/gratification before the man gets "his".
• Treat s the face that she's sitting on no different from anything else that she'd properly sit on.
• Has a butt crack that naturally spreads when she squats down to facesit.
• Manually spreads her butt crack, if it doesn't naturally spread, while she squats down to facesit.

This list isn't inclusive, and even the women that don't show signs of having the above traits can provide good facesits.

The common theme among these good facesits is that these women treat the face, that they sit on, no different from a barstool that they'd sit on, or anything else that they'd sit on if they were sitting properly.

If she facesits this way, the person that she's facesitting will enjoy the facesit. I've also noticed that the women that facesit this way generally tend to get the most enjoyment out of the facesit.

Toilet Paper or Wet Wipe, Which is Better? From a Facesitting Perspective

Toilet Paper or Wet Wipe?

I've seen a couple of articles, with associated comments, of people arguing the advantages of one or the other. For some people, using a regular toilet paper is the adult thing to do. For others, it's the idea of getting more ass cleaning done. After all, if you got some crap on your arm, would you use a toilet paper to wipe it off, or would you use a baby wipe? Or, for that matter, would you wash it?

Considering that I love to have women sit flat on top of my face with their bare bottoms... with their full weight... with their assholes smothering my nostrils... I have a good vantage point on this question.

There's no consistency among women that facesit me on how well they clean their butts.

I've had women facesit me right after they took a dump. Some of them wiped between taking care of business and facesitting me, one or two didn't.

Some of them wiped their butts like they normally would, went about their business, then facesat me when it was time for me to live up to my username. Some of these women used toilet paper, others used wet wipes. One or two women took a dump, didn't wipe, went about their business, then facesat me when it was time for me to live up to my username.

Contrary to what one may think, once a woman sits on my face, I can't smell anything... not even her asshole as it smothers my nostrils. The feel of her ass on my face overrides the recent memory of her ass smell. The sensation of her ass on my face dominates until she lifts her butt up... this is when the smell kicks in.

I love to have hot/beautiful women facesit me, their ass smell never bothers me. If anything, it's an erotic part of the experience. After she removes her butt from my face, I wear her ass perfume on my face with honor and pride.

One woman put real perfume on her ass right before she facesat me.

Many women sat on my face right after taking a shower. Some of them "left it at that" then sat on my face fresh out of the shower. Others took a shower prior to meeting me, went about their business, then facesat me when it was time to make me live up to my username. Others made a pit stop to the bathroom... more than likely to apply some wet wipes to their asses... before facesitting me.

So, which ass cleaning method provided the cleanest smelling and looking butt? The answer is simple... the women that showered, then latter applied the wet wipes.

I know firsthand, from when women sit on my face, that a person isn't going to get rid of all the butt smell. Even after a shower, there's going to be a residue smell. The ass may smell clean, without smell, after a post shower wet wipe application... but I've still had the smell of her ass in my nostrils a day after she sat on my face.

What's the worst smelling ass? Remember the woman that put perfume on her ass to masque the smell? That was the worst smelling ass I've smelt. But once she was sitting on my face with her full weight, I didn't smell anything until after she got up.

So ladies, if you're worried about how you smell down there, remember this... that's part of this fetish's erotic sensation. Going from your perfume/make up smell fragrance, to your ass smell, to your ass and full weight on my face is extremely erotic.

Now, many of these articles focus on the toilet paper or the wet wipe. Rare is the mention of the best way to clean one's ass.

Here's one method to use, if you're in your home.

Stage one, use the toilet paper to collect the bulk of your feces residue. Fold the toilet paper into two square rectangle length, and overlap to the strength that you want. Place the whole rectangle on your hand, then place it on your ass crack so that you could "trap" the feces residue. Take your time collecting your feces residue... let the toilet paper take it in. Bring the toilet paper into a semi ball, trapping the feces residue, then release the used toilet paper into the toilet bowl.

Break out the wet wipe and wipe like you normally would. Depending on your toilet and the type of plumbing that you have, you could either release the wet wipe into the toilet, or put it in a waste basket. If you don't have wet wipes, use wet toilet paper as a substitute.

Now, here's a step that most people don't use... but it's a step that'll keep your ass cleaner than most people's asses.

This step involves bathing your ass while it's on the toilet bowl. This can be done even without a bidet. All you need is a container... like a used up whip cream container, soap, and ready access to a faucet.

First, you lean forward to bring your ass crack up. Use one hand to pour the water through your ass crack, and the other hand to guide the water onto your ass crack. Second, you pour liquid soap, or apply regular soap, to the hand you're going to use to lather your butt. When you get enough of a lather, thoroughly lather your butt. Once you're done, repeat step one, this time to post rinse. The forth step involves using a dry wash rag to dry your bottom.

The third step is a modified version of how they clean their asses in the Far East and in southwest Asia. Asians generally have a better concept of cleaning their ass after taking care of business than their North American counterparts. However, many haven't caught up on the idea that you're supposed to include soap lathering in the process.

Why not use a rag to do the lathering and washing? One reason is that your own skin generally will be easier on your butt crack. Another is that women that do this get more of the smell off than those that use a wash rag. Also, you're not going to be able to hand rinse all the mess from the rag. Just think of the idea of using the same piece of toilet paper each time you use the bathroom.

If you're one of the people who have trained your body to take care of business around the same time in the morning... and have a habit of taking a shower right afterwards... you could skip step three and go straight to the shower.

If there's no shower planned after the bathroom visit, use all three steps. As always, wash your hands afterwards. When you wash your hands, wash them with a rinse, real lather, and post rinse cycle... using techniques that doctors show their patients. This technique involves lathering each finger during the lathering phase.

Rinse, turn the water off, thoroughly lather, turn the water back on and post rinse.

Back to the facesitting...

For me, it doesn't matter what a woman does to "clean up" after taking a dump... before she sits on my face. I make sure that my face is clean so that she has a clean face to sit on... regardless of how she cleans her ass or whether she cleans it or not.  The smell is part of the fun, and is a non-issue when it comes to the facesitting itself.

I have a different mindset when it comes to eating a woman's ass out though. If she expects me to ask her for a chance to toss her salad, she's got to have a clean ass. If she doesn't have a clean ass, and she wants her ass eaten, she'd have to "force" her asshole into my mouth. 

The 69 position isn't close to facesitting

This is one of the posts intended for the ladies. :D

Well, I sat down and surfed the internet. The object, find pictures, videos, of guys getting facesat while they got a hand-job. One website offered a possibility. But, when I clicked, it showed two people in a 69 position. The video's title had "forced 69" in it. The comment section, though, made this statement, "what you see is in fact, a face sit, with the female on top!"

Not true. The definition of "sit," from Dictionary dot com: "Verb: 1. to rest with the body supported by the buttocks or thighs; be seated." In the picture, the woman's upper body was resting on the guy's chest, her buttocks wasn't on his face.

What do you do when someone invites you to take a seat? Do you lay your belly on the chair, and hang over it? Do you rest your crotch on it, 69 style, and lead forward so that your "weight" is on your crotch? No! You plant your butt on the chair, you sit! :D

So what do you do when a guy asks you to sit on his face? Something very similar to what you'd do if you were invited to "take a seat" of course. :D You'd smother his face with your buttocks, you'd rest your weight on your buttocks; hence on his face.

Life without facesitting

Greetings from Iraq!

I'm currently deployed to Iraq, so I haven't had time to update my blogs. The internet that we have access to is KBR ran, since it falls under "MWR," we can't look at porn on them.

So, I've purchased a commercial plan to check up on my favorite facesitting sites. This leads to one of the hardest things about a combat deployment... not being able to experience a good facesitting. Granted, there are women on the major bases out here, but not where I'm at. As an infantryman, I'm at a patrol base that's infantry oriented. We don't get the amenities, conveniences, and little slice of home that the major fobs get. One of the reasons we like to call those folks, "fobbits."

So, we don't even get the "small" chance of getting facesat by, say, a hot Air Force chick. :D Kind of hard to fantasize getting facesat by one of the Iraqi women that we see on our mounted and dismounted patrols. Well, until recently. You don't need to drink beer to see women with rose colored glasses... trying not having one for a long time!

So imagine what went through my mind when I saw facesitting videos and pictures.

I don't care about having sex right now, all I need is a hot woman sitting flat on top of my face... reverse full weight style, while she gives me a hand job... the sensation one gets from this is better than actual sex at times.

Use pictures to ask for a facesit

You're in a room with a beautiful, hot woman, and you're about to have sex. She's sexy...one look at her butt and you simply have to have it on your face. You can't wait to feel her full weight behind that butt. So you work up the courage to ask her to sit on your face.

She climbs on top of you, straddles your face, and stops short of placing her bottom on your face. You're thinking, "She's not sitting on my face!" And she's thinking, "I'm sitting on his face!"
One way to cut the confusion is with a picture; this picture should show a woman sitting on a man's face. Mistress Destiny's Femdom Forums and other facesitting websites have facesitting pictures. They show the different ways you could get your face sat on. Pick the picture that shows how you like to get your face sat on, then print a copy of it. Keep it where you could retrieve it.

The next time you're in a situation where you're about to ask a woman to sit on your face, grab that picture. Show it to her and ask her if she could sit on your face that way.

How I like to have women sit on my face

Hi ladies, this one is for you. This isn't to offend or to get you exited, but to express how I like to have my face sat on.

Believe it or not, there are many ways to sit on a guys face, and guys have different ways they'd like to get their faces sat on.

When most guys ask for facesitting, they're asking the woman to do a mustache ride. The woman isn't really "sitting" in a mustache ride, just "squatting" with her pussy in the guy's mouth. When she looks down, she sees his mustache curving above her view of her pussy.

It's like she's on a motorcycle and the mustache is the "handlebar." Usually, when I ask women to sit on my face, they try to do the mustache ride. When I ask them to turn around, they try to do the "chin ride," which is the opposite to a mustache ride.

Neither constitutes a "true" facesit.

I prefer the full weight reverse facesit. This is where the woman sits flat on top of the man's face with all her weight, the way she'd normally sit on a chair or stool. Her butthole is smothering his nostrils, her butt crack is smothering the length of his nose from base to nose-bridge, and his eyebrows are either under or just outside her butt cheeks. His mouth is under her pussy and giving her oral pleasure.

When a woman sits on my face that way, she turns a "switch" on that makes me eat her out better than what I'd normally do. Don't get me wrong. I could drive a woman up the wall, trembling and shaking, as a result of eating her out while she's on her back and has her legs spread.

But, when she's sitting flat on top of my face as I've just described, I could bring her to an orgasm faster than she'd normally orgasm; and make her feel like she's never had her pussy eaten out.

Every woman I've eaten out this way became addicted to the idea of sitting on my face to get a good pussy eating. They've even gotten into the groove, shaking their butts back and forth, causing my body and the bed to rock back and forth.

Now, I don't ask every woman that I have intercourse with to sit on my face. My facesitting fetish is woman activated; she has to fit a specific "type." For me, that's the white woman with an appearance ranging from "cute" to "hot." I give hot white women another kind of oral servicing that I'll cover in an upcoming post.

My facesitting fetish is connected to sexual attraction.