I read a Cosmopolitan article, written by Frank Kobala, that lists our supposed thoughts when we get facesat. Those weren't my thoughts.
Facesitting has almost been a part of my entire sex life. What Frank Kobola says in his article is not what comes to my mind when a woman is sitting on my face. In fact, there's an entire community of folks like me that don't think those thoughts listed in Frank Kobola's Cosmopolitan article, 12 Things a Guy Thinks When You Sit on His Face.
I'm going to take each of his points, and respond with what we facesit fetishists really think...
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Oh you want me to go down on you.... so why are you keeping me on my back? This isn't making sense.
For many of us, this makes perfect sense. I already know that I'm going to be eating her out this way. If we're in this position, it's usually because I've asked to be in this position. Every time I see a hot woman, that fits the profile of the type of woman I want sitting on my face, I fantasize her sitting flat on top of my face... facing my feet... while she sits with her full weight and I eat her pussy out.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: I see what's going on here. This took me a second. We're going to shake things up, aren't we? And by "shake things up" I mean you're going to sit on my face.
I see that long before the sex event. In fact, I've planned it.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: This is so porny! There is nothing wrong with that. It's actually preferable.
What I actually think: I feel like I'm in heaven!
One of the most beautiful sights you can see is the woman's ass right before she sits flat on top of your face.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: I can't breathe. I need a signal for you to give me some air that isn't me throwing you off me in a panic.
As long as the woman isn't actively smothering you for breath play, there's always a way to breathe while giving oral this way. If you're doing this "50 Shades of Grey" style, there's always a "safe signal."
I've done the later in BDSM, all I had to do was a "light signal" with my face. She always partially lifted her butt up just enough for me to catch my breath... then she slowly lowered her butt back down... and settled back into the heavy full weight facesit.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: My eye is basically in her butt. Is this... is this how all adults get pink eye?
If my eyes aren't in her butt, with her butt cheeks pinning my eyelids shut, she isn't sitting on my face properly.
There are few exceptions to this, like if she's sitting on my mouth and I'm looking at her back, or if she has a small butt. Otherwise, her ass cheeks should be pressing down on my eyelids in a way that makes it "impossible" for me to open my eyes.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: I have no choice but to make her orgasm.
That's how I want to make women orgasm, and I could do it faster this way. I could also do it the traditional way and make her involuntarily shake aggressively. The facesit is one way to warm her up for this.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: She will not release me from her grip until then.
I don't want her to "release me from her grip," but unfortunately, this always happens as she orgasms or worse, when she tries to "reward" me by collapsing her upper body forward and putting us in a 69 position.
She may think that she's rewarding me. I actually see that as a way to punish me for doing a good job, not reward me. I usually stop licking when she does this, then I nudge her back into the facesitting position.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: How can I do hand stuff? Can I wedge my hand over my face?
First, if you're doing this right, you don't need your hands to do anything, unless your tongue can't reach her clitoris. Your arms and hands should be at your side, so that when she does sit, you could use your hands to assist her sit better... and to help pleasure her.
I don't want anything between her butt and my face, as it'd ruin the fun.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: I guess I can just use my nose instead. It's already in there.
The nose is trapped under her butt. The mouth has access to the entire area that needs oral service... most of the time. If not, the hands could be brought into action to help the mouth.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Please don't crush my head. There is so much pressure.
I've found that if I get as much of my nose inside her anal ring as possible, and as much of my face inside her ass crack as possible, it doesn't matter how hard she sits. Her ass crack is the softest part of her ass. She should have enough butt muscle and fat to cushion the rest of my face.
Now, there is a point where she sits "too hard," but it's rare. Your mileage may vary. You could give nonverbal signals to the woman so that she could pick up the excess, and leave you with the facesitting pressure that you want.
If she's not sitting hard enough to leave reddish pressure marks on my face, she's not sitting properly.
I've had a woman my height and weight sit on my face, plus push down from above. I still was comfortable. The fattest woman to sit on my face ended up giving me one of the most comfortable facesit experiences that I had. Talk about soft and cushiony "up the ying yang".
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Can you reach my penis from there? I'm just saying, if you want to, you totally can.
Most facesitting women do that without being told, that's if you're eating them out properly. If she's my height or taller, yes, she could easily reach my penis. If she's shorter, and she could lean forward without taking too much weight off my face, she could still reach my penis.
If she can't do it without breaking a proper facesit, I don't want her to reach for my penis.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Do you want to reverse cowgirl this? Is a suggestion I would make if I could actually talk.
If a woman wants to "ride the north face," I give an Army hand-and-arm signal similar to "rally." She easily interprets this as "turn around and ride the south face." Once she turns around, I use my arms to pull her ass onto my face, then I pull her ass down harder once her ass is on my face.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Are you coming or is my world ending? I can't even see anymore. It's just pitch black and vibrations, like an earthquake in a cave.
I don't worry if she has arrived at coming yet, because I know she's getting there. These women could only take so much orgasms in that position that the facesit ends shortly after that.
As far as "not seeing" anymore... if you could see her butt cheeks, she's not sitting properly.
If it's pitch black and you feel vibrations/earthquakes, both of you are doing something right.
Facesitting has almost been a part of my entire sex life. What Frank Kobola says in his article is not what comes to my mind when a woman is sitting on my face. In fact, there's an entire community of folks like me that don't think those thoughts listed in Frank Kobola's Cosmopolitan article, 12 Things a Guy Thinks When You Sit on His Face.
I'm going to take each of his points, and respond with what we facesit fetishists really think...
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Oh you want me to go down on you.... so why are you keeping me on my back? This isn't making sense.
For many of us, this makes perfect sense. I already know that I'm going to be eating her out this way. If we're in this position, it's usually because I've asked to be in this position. Every time I see a hot woman, that fits the profile of the type of woman I want sitting on my face, I fantasize her sitting flat on top of my face... facing my feet... while she sits with her full weight and I eat her pussy out.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: I see what's going on here. This took me a second. We're going to shake things up, aren't we? And by "shake things up" I mean you're going to sit on my face.
I see that long before the sex event. In fact, I've planned it.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: This is so porny! There is nothing wrong with that. It's actually preferable.
What I actually think: I feel like I'm in heaven!
One of the most beautiful sights you can see is the woman's ass right before she sits flat on top of your face.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: I can't breathe. I need a signal for you to give me some air that isn't me throwing you off me in a panic.
As long as the woman isn't actively smothering you for breath play, there's always a way to breathe while giving oral this way. If you're doing this "50 Shades of Grey" style, there's always a "safe signal."
I've done the later in BDSM, all I had to do was a "light signal" with my face. She always partially lifted her butt up just enough for me to catch my breath... then she slowly lowered her butt back down... and settled back into the heavy full weight facesit.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: My eye is basically in her butt. Is this... is this how all adults get pink eye?
If my eyes aren't in her butt, with her butt cheeks pinning my eyelids shut, she isn't sitting on my face properly.
There are few exceptions to this, like if she's sitting on my mouth and I'm looking at her back, or if she has a small butt. Otherwise, her ass cheeks should be pressing down on my eyelids in a way that makes it "impossible" for me to open my eyes.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: I have no choice but to make her orgasm.
That's how I want to make women orgasm, and I could do it faster this way. I could also do it the traditional way and make her involuntarily shake aggressively. The facesit is one way to warm her up for this.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: She will not release me from her grip until then.
I don't want her to "release me from her grip," but unfortunately, this always happens as she orgasms or worse, when she tries to "reward" me by collapsing her upper body forward and putting us in a 69 position.
She may think that she's rewarding me. I actually see that as a way to punish me for doing a good job, not reward me. I usually stop licking when she does this, then I nudge her back into the facesitting position.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: How can I do hand stuff? Can I wedge my hand over my face?
First, if you're doing this right, you don't need your hands to do anything, unless your tongue can't reach her clitoris. Your arms and hands should be at your side, so that when she does sit, you could use your hands to assist her sit better... and to help pleasure her.
I don't want anything between her butt and my face, as it'd ruin the fun.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: I guess I can just use my nose instead. It's already in there.
The nose is trapped under her butt. The mouth has access to the entire area that needs oral service... most of the time. If not, the hands could be brought into action to help the mouth.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Please don't crush my head. There is so much pressure.
I've found that if I get as much of my nose inside her anal ring as possible, and as much of my face inside her ass crack as possible, it doesn't matter how hard she sits. Her ass crack is the softest part of her ass. She should have enough butt muscle and fat to cushion the rest of my face.
Now, there is a point where she sits "too hard," but it's rare. Your mileage may vary. You could give nonverbal signals to the woman so that she could pick up the excess, and leave you with the facesitting pressure that you want.
If she's not sitting hard enough to leave reddish pressure marks on my face, she's not sitting properly.
I've had a woman my height and weight sit on my face, plus push down from above. I still was comfortable. The fattest woman to sit on my face ended up giving me one of the most comfortable facesit experiences that I had. Talk about soft and cushiony "up the ying yang".
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Can you reach my penis from there? I'm just saying, if you want to, you totally can.
Most facesitting women do that without being told, that's if you're eating them out properly. If she's my height or taller, yes, she could easily reach my penis. If she's shorter, and she could lean forward without taking too much weight off my face, she could still reach my penis.
If she can't do it without breaking a proper facesit, I don't want her to reach for my penis.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Do you want to reverse cowgirl this? Is a suggestion I would make if I could actually talk.
If a woman wants to "ride the north face," I give an Army hand-and-arm signal similar to "rally." She easily interprets this as "turn around and ride the south face." Once she turns around, I use my arms to pull her ass onto my face, then I pull her ass down harder once her ass is on my face.
Frank Kobola, Cosmopolitan: Are you coming or is my world ending? I can't even see anymore. It's just pitch black and vibrations, like an earthquake in a cave.
I don't worry if she has arrived at coming yet, because I know she's getting there. These women could only take so much orgasms in that position that the facesit ends shortly after that.
As far as "not seeing" anymore... if you could see her butt cheeks, she's not sitting properly.
If it's pitch black and you feel vibrations/earthquakes, both of you are doing something right.
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