Facesitting is the Beautiful, Sexy, Confident, and Dominant Woman's Sport

A few years ago, I wrote an article for ehow on how to get facesat. The article stayed on that site, along with other rated "X" articles. It didn't stay up there for long before they took the article down. When they gave me the reason for taking it down, I smacked them with their own hypocrisy... pointing out the other rated "X" articles that were still up on their site.

They took those other articles down. That didn't stop me from hammering them every time they slipped and allowed a triple X article back on that site.

Years later, I stumbled on the article that I submitted. Turned out that someone that worked for that site passed it to someone they knew on another website, "Slog, the stranger dot com." It was under the title, "Many women refuse to sit on faces because they're conscious of what a butt smells like." Lindy West posted it on that site.

I have a detailed, expanded, version of that article on this blog. I've also written a variant of that article, and posted it on Mistress Destiny's Femdom Forums.

Those who know me from Mistress Destiny's Femdom Forums know that I don't miss out on an opportunity to defend what I say. I've collected a series of negative responses to my article. Time to destroy these retards' arguments a la MDFF style:

[quote]Uh, unless she scrubbed for twenty minutes with five different types of soap, you don't have to tell her how great it smells. Because it doesn't smell great. It smells atrocious.
--god i hate butt  October 1, 2008 4:32 PM [/quote]

I wouldn't be surprised that most of your academic problems came from your piss poor reading comprehension abilities. What I find atrocious is that they let someone, that's unable to use his/her brain, post on "Slog dot the stranger dot com," thus "gracing" the reader with his/her stupidity.

The point isn't to argue with her as to whether she smells great down there or not. The point is to counter her worries that she "smells" down there. Many women refuse to go through with a complete facesit, as they're conscious of how they smell down there. They'll either refuse to go through with it, denying the facesit fan real fun, or they'll make some adjustments.

For example, I've had situations where women would try to "hover" their butt to "spare" me what they think is an issue. This could be the smell, it could also be the fear that they'd "crush" me with their weight.

Letting her know that the smell is "part of the fun," helps alleviate her worrying about how the facesit enthusiast would react, or think, if she were to go ahead despite her worries.

[quote]A girl friend of mine in college had a boyfriend who, as a special treat during a bout of cunnilingus, ran his tongue back to her butt.
She was so upset that anyone would ever think to do such a thing to anyone that she cried. Like, right then.
--David Schmader  October 1, 2008 4:39 PM[/quote]

Not on topic you numbnuts. The article she posted had something to do with facesitting, with cunnilingus involved, not annalingus. Reading a post, before you comment on it, would spare you from coming across as an idiot that wants attention.

The vast majority of the women... that I've eaten out... were too busy going wild to care that I was nudging them into a full facesitting position. The few that resisted the full facesit were still in a position where part, or all, of my nose was inside their arse crack, even if there was no contact in that area. Future attempts with these women lead to a full facesit.

You see, that's key. You have to be eating her out right. Most men think that they're eating a woman out right, when they aren't. Most women complain that very few men know how to perform cunnilingus. That's a legitimate complaint. So if the guy that you're talking about was doing it properly... she wouldn't have been cognizant of the fact that he slipped his tongue there. She would've been too busy going wild over the sensation he would've been giving her had he ate her out good.

[quote]i made a girl cry when i gave her the 1st orgasm of her life. and it wasn't tears of joy & gratitude, it was because she thought it was dirty & she was now a slut.
and i never even touched her ass with my tongue.
--max solomon  October 1, 2008 4:58 PM[/quote]

Another off topic post. I'll be lenient here though, as this appears to be a reply to the knucklehead that went off topic.

None of the women, that I introduced into facesitting, felt "dirty" or "sluttish" after the experience. The majority of them became facesitting "monsters" and looked forward to parking their butts on my face for more.

[quote] Eww. Butt.
-- TVDinner  October 1, 2008 6:11 PM[/quote]

Ewww, a person who posts as if a retarded ghost possesses him/her.

[quote]Let's work the problem here. Is this not what scented products were made for? Peach, aloe, a carefully aimed squirt of Chanel No. 5? Surely a resolution can be reached! I mean, for the greater good and all.
--Irena  October 1, 2008 7:57 PM[/quote]

One woman tried that, that's the worst thing that they could do. Using one of those products actually worsens the smell.

The best thing that a woman could do is to come fresh out of the shower, or to clean it with soap and water... pre-rinse, lather, post rinse. Most women, when they know that they're going to sit on my face, are pretty good at cleaning up. Their butt has no bad smell.

[quote]I don't know if vacuum-sealed-mash-the-anus-onto-my-nose-squashing is necessary, but having the lady straddle the face is the BEST angle for the cunnilingus. No weird lower-jaw jutting required! Hours of sloppy goodness.
--Yogi  October 1, 2008 7:30 PM[/quote]

It's very necessary. This way, one movement of your tongue simultaneously takes care of her clitoris and surrounding area in one stroke. Keep in mind that you're doing this in a repeated pattern. Women have a lot of sensation in their anal ring area. Merely having your nose there, while driving her wild with cunnilingus, amplifies the pleasure she gets from cunnilingus.

The way that I explained it also puts you in a situation to where everything that you do adds to her pleasure... this includes you catching your breath. I've had no "pressure on the jaw" issues while eating them out this way.

I've also done it as you described, but the woman didn't get as much pleasure as she did in a full weight facesit. Your way was also less comfortable for me.

Women That Hate Facesitting are Generally Ugly, and Normally Don't get Facesit Requests

 [quote][quote]
This is one of the worst guides i've read regarding oral sex. And let's not even get started on the ass part. I wish it was a joke.
Lauren October 1, 2008 8:04 PM[/quote]

Ha!
Coming from a female who has a male partner who's tried getting me to do this often, I FULLY disagree with with #13! This a great little guide.
It reminds me of something that should be in Box Lunch by Diana Cage (which you guys need to read and do an article on if you haven't already.)
I even just emailed it to my honey with a little nudge and wink. Hopefully we'll be getting some good salad tossin in here soon....
morgi  October 1, 2008 8:21 PM[/quote]

It's blatantly obvious that Lauren hasn't received good quality orgasm. I wouldn't be surprised if Lauren has a hard time finding a guy that pleases her the way most women wish to be pleased, but don't get pleased that way.

Morgi is representative of many of the women that I've introduced into facesitting. Most women would say, "no" or refuse, if you describe the kind of facesit that you're looking for. Get these women in a 69 position, with her on top, and eat her out in a way that drives her up the wall. She wouldn't be phased by your pushing her into a sitting position. She'll be too wrapped up on the pleasure that you're giving her to even care... or notice.

Once they realize that the fullweight facesitting improves the cunnilingus quality, they'd relax and literally enjoy the ride.

If Lauran continues with that philosophy, she'll go into old age not knowing what she's missing.

[quote]@9: I guess I must be crazy, then, since I tried it three times, and I hated it. I did not get anything out of it whatsoever, except feeling slightly damp in an uncomfortable way.
yourleastfavorite  October 1, 2008 9:28 PM [/quote]

Yes, you're "crazy," because you're willing to give up on an experience based on someone's piss poor cunnilingus skill. The reality is that if the other person ate you out the right way, and you were going wild, you wouldn't care if someone nudged you into a fully seated position. You'd be mainly focused on the fact that someone is eating you out real good.

The problem wasn't because of the facesit, but because of the person you chose to have sex with.

[quote]I regularly peg and give rimjobs, since my boyfriend is into that, but I can't stop being generally (but only privately, so he doesn't feel guilty) grossed-out by the concept of ass - not because I think it's perverted, just because...well, seriously, we shit from there. "Eat shit" is an insult for a reason. I guess love means eating ass while fantasizing about your toothbrush waiting for you down the hall.
yourleastfavorite  October 1, 2008 9:28 PM[/quote]

This is an example of what I'm talking about. Is this the same guy that you tried to "face sit"? If so, he comes across as someone that was more focused on what he could get from you, rather than what he could do for you.

You fantasized about that toothbrush down the hall while you were rimming him. He probably was fantasizing about something else while you were "facesitting" him. The guide that I posted, that you commented on, required the guy to know what he was doing in the cunnilingus department.

My "guide" would've put your boyfriend in a position to where all he'd have to do is wash his face afterwards. If the toothbrush was your solution for the aftermath, then you obviously don't pay attention to the fact behind why flossing and mouthwash must also be done. There's something else that you'd have to do, to effectively deal with the aftermath. I'll leave you with trying to figure that out.

You tried to fend off the "crazy" label, right before admitting that you ate a guy's ass without first requiring quality oral service from him. My guide required the guy to give quality oral service first prior to attempting to nudge the female into the facesitting position.

It appears that you lost in that situation. Blame your judgment and guy choice, not the facesitting.

[quote]@9, I dearly wish I could sever the strings that hold my eyeballs in place so that I could roll them alllllll the way around for you. It's nice to know that if I don't like sitting on a dude's face, it must be because I'm crazy or frigid, and not because, you know, that particular angle doesn't do it for me.
I thank all the gods that I don't actually believe in that I don't have to fuck you, because lord almighty you sound tedious as hell.
haunted leg  October 1, 2008 10:17 PM[/quote]

If the guy doesn't do a good job eating you out, yes, that particular angle won't do it for you. However, if you're sitting just right, and the guy you're facesitting is doing cunnilingus properly, you wouldn't be complaining about how that particular angle "doesn't" do it for you.

One of the main reasons to why that particular angle doesn't do it for many people, is that they don't facesit properly. When many women facesit, they have a tendency to use their upper legs to support their body weight. This puts pressure on their knees and ankles/feet area. Without being fully relaxed, you're not going to enjoy the attention that you ultimately get.

However, a proper facesit would help alleviate that issue.

This starts with you dropping a squat (popping/copping a squat) on top of the face, then transitioning into a fullweight face sit from there. You take advantage of your body design when you do that. With the face sittee's face supporting most or all of your weight, you remove the pressure from your knees and ankles/feet. If knee pain is an issue, you could always rest your legs on top of the face sittee's legs.

If your boyfriend does his part properly, during 69, you'd be going wild with pleasure. You wouldn't care if he maneuvered you into a facesitting position... if you weren't there yet.

You could be frigid, selfish, ugly, or not doing it right. Your "doesn't do it for me" reply is just an excuse to cover for that. This shows that like your boyfriend, who didn't care about doing a proper job on you... you don't care about going out of your way to please a man. The person that you're addressing is lucky that you wouldn't have sex with him.